Fic: Brave New World (21/28): Harry Potter

[patriciatepes]

Title: Brave New World
Author: patriciatepes
Artist: twisted_slinky
Fandom: Harry Potter
Chapter: Prev | Next
Rating/Contents: PG-13
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or any related characters. Making no money here, as they all still belong to their prospective owners.
Summary: Partially DH compliant, most AU. Voldemort arrived at Malfoy Manor quicker than expected, and like that, the war was over. Now, Hermione is Snape's "assigned companion," and as determined as ever to stop Voldemort and save her friends. But that's hard to do in Voldemort's new world…

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Chapter Twenty-One: Reconciliation

Snape had been asleep—or at the very least, locked away in his bedroom—when Hermione had made it home that evening. So it had given her enough time to decide what needed to be done on the home front, so to speak. When she awoke the next morning, she had a new personal mission—the objective of which she would have never guessed had someone told her only months earlier.

She dressed, trying to make herself look presentable as quickly as possible. She reigned herself in from bounding down the stairs, taking them at a leisurely pace. That had been harder than she thought. She was so eager to see Snape, to speak to him. She had had so much run through her mind the previous night, and had so many decision to make. But there were a couple that she found herself surprised to see that they were easily made.

She paused under the alcove into the lounge. Snape was in his chair, nose stuck in a book. A pungent aroma permeated the air, but not so strongly that it was coming from anything within the room. She supposed it was probably originating from the kitchen. Snape sometimes concocted his potions in there, and she really wished she wouldn't. On the nights she cooked after he had made a potion, she found that the aroma lingered for a long time. Sometimes, she even thought she tasted it in the food. She shook the thoughts on his potion making from her mind, reminding herself that she had more important reasons to be lingering in the alcove. She cleared her throat, lightly, which drew Snape's eyes to hers.

He closed the book, slowly, setting it back on a nearby shelf as Hermione took her usual seat on the sofa. They said nothing immediately, only staring. Neither one seemed to want to look away, for fear of losing nerve. Finally, Snape sighed.

"I want to apologize to you," he said, evenly.

"Oh? For what?"

Hermione was sure he had already apologized to her for keeping the information about Harry from her. And Snape did not seem like a man who would apologize twice.

He seemed to think it over, forming the words in his mind carefully.

"When I… get angry, or feel backed into a corner, I have a… let's call it a habit of blurting out hurtful things. I suppose I feel like I gain an advantage when I do so."

Hermione waited, quietly confused. Her former teacher sighed once more.

"It's what finally ended my friendship with Lily Eva—Potter. Fifth year, Potter and his friends were… bullying me. They had me hanging upside down, embarrassing me in front of crowd. Lily tried to stick up for me, but I was so… so angry. I called her… I called her a mudblood. In front of everyone. It's one thing on a long, seemingly endless, list of regrets. I'm sure Potter has told you about my memory he witnessed in the pensieve."

Hermione shook her head. "No. Harry never mentioned."

This seemed to weigh heavily on him. His eyes drifted off to some space past Hermione for just a moment. When he refocused, he continued.

"Well, my meaning is… at Weasley's wedding, I truly had no idea you were so close to me. I thought you were still trailing behind when I blurted out the truth of Miss Weasley's current condition." He paused, open mouthed, seeming to rethink his next words. "To be honest, I probably still would have blurted it out to distract from the conversation, but at least, had I known you were still so close, I would have thought harder about not doing so."

Hermione couldn't help it. She chuckled at this, just a little. It was a horrible thing to say, so very mean, but, Merlin, did some real honesty feel good after months of subterfuge. Snape looked rightfully bewildered by her response. After a moment, she calmed, putting back on her serious face.

"I have some things to say as well. First, I accept your apology. And now, I want to apologize. I was… I was so angry, yesterday morning. I really want you to understand that it had absolutely nothing to do with sleeping with you! I have no regrets whatsoever about doing so. I just… I shouldn't haven't gotten so angry at you for keeping that information from me. After all, it wasn't just your secret to keep. And it would've been really hard to bring up earlier, I suppose, when I didn't trust your loyalties. It must've been really hard, too, keeping that a secret. What a horrible thing to have to do. I was just so devastated. My best friend…" Hermione sighed, blinking away the tears before they could fall. Collecting herself, she ended with, "So, I'm very sorry for taking all the blame out on you yesterday morning. That wasn't fair."

He was eyeing her in a strange way, one that Hermione couldn't quite describe. It might have been surprise, with a hint of intrigue. That one eyebrow of his was arched higher than she had ever seen it, and his gaze was roving over her form slowly. It made her feel like she was a bit on display, especially after spilling every relevant thought that had been on her mind since returning home from the meeting.

"You truly don't regret… what we did together?" he asked.

She blinked. Really? That's what he grasped on to? Meeting his eye, she just stared, waiting for him to explain himself.

"It's just, I felt as if I might have taken advantage of you. You were angry, and hurt. And the… situation we have found ourselves in for the past several months… and given that it was your first… I've worried over this. I'm not the kind of man who preys on hurt women, despite what I may have to do to secure my cover. I have always refused to do that."

That was refreshing to know. Hermione grinned, allowing one of probably only three girlish giggles she had ever given in her life to slip from her lips.

"No, Severus. You did not take advantage. I may not have much experience, and yes, I may have been upset, but it was very, very willing. It was consensual." She paused, looking away slightly as she felt a blush warm her cheeks. "In fact, I was… hoping that it might be… consensual again… later today."

She dared a glance back over at Snape. He looked shocked, which melted away after a moment to smile she could only describe as suggestive. She realized she had never really seen many smiles on his face, and that she really liked the look on him. Then, as the smile faded, it was replaced by another arched brow.

"But?"

She heaved a deep breath, nodding once. "But first we need to address the ever looming, all-encompassing problem of Voldemort."

From here, she launched into a much watered down version of what had taken place at the resistance meeting the night before. She glossed over the acquiring of the veritaserum, and when Snape had tried to interrupt—undoubtedly to ask—she plowed ahead as if she had not noticed. When she finished, she looked at him expectantly. He was still, by all appearances, Voldemort's right hand man. He would have the best grasp of the information gleaned from Draco.

"Draco is very correct to worry," he said, the words hitting Hermione like stones.

Ginny's face was conjured to mind, contorting quickly to Ginny in pain and tears. Hermione's stomach twisted at the thought of another dear friend in immediate mortal danger.

"The Dark Lord's promises only extend so far. I have some… experience with that. The moment that promise becomes an obstacle to his goals, he will break it."

Hermione pursed her lips. "And I worry about Draco attempting to poison Nagini with Voldemort living right in his home."

"Yes. That would be most unwise."

"I… I don't think he'd listen to me. Or to any of the other members. He's desperate to protect Ginny and his child."

"Understandably."

Hermione grasped the hem of her shirt, twisting it in her hands. "I think, Severus, that maybe you should come out to the resistance. Show them that the information they are getting from me isn't just what little I've been able to overhear. I think if they knew we had a man on the inside, we could come up with better plans. And Draco would listen to you."

Snape shook his head. "No. I'm doing what I can now to keep us safe, Hermione. And sometimes I worry it isn't enough. It will be bad enough for me, for us, if it ever becomes known that I don't treat you like rubbish or abuse my power over you. Not to mention if it becomes known that I'm a half-blood. Add to all of that a direct connection to the resistance. It's risky enough, you running off with whatever you hear. No. It's out of the question."

Hermione felt that familiar anger—the one he had managed to make melt when he had touched her two nights ago—rising up. But she quelled it. Arguments were not going to get her point across. Only valid points. She took a deep breath, holding his eye with hers.

"Severus, you are the only one who can… who can get close enough to Harry. We won't act until Harry knows what has to be done. To make that choice. That can't happen without you. And if you don't join, others will try. Maybe Draco will try. Or Ginny. Pregnant Ginny. What do you think Voldemort will do to them if they find them? You're the only one… cautious enough for this to work. Please! I trust these people. And I need them to know that all hope isn't lost. That you, Severus Snape, can provide us with our best chance at winning. Please, Severus? You have to do this! More die every day. More tortured and oppressed."

Snape looked at her, and Hermione returned his gaze with pleading eyes. He finally closed his. "Fine. Yes. But my involvement is to be limited. Only what is absolutely necessary. I won't… I won't risk you."

She smiled. Standing, she walked over to him and kissed him, softly, on the lips. Pulling away, she gave a decisive nod. "I'll contact Neville for another meeting tonight."

"Neville Longbottom is the leader of the resistance? Merlin save us all," Snape moaned.